Girls' Night Out

"I thought I did a wonderful job, I even carried a tune," Cassie slurs. "Besides I think my tango with that nice gentleman in the leather pants was far more embarrassing." 

"Mmmmm," Maria sighs, "He was cute. I don't begrudge you it at all. I'd have done it too. I think that's the first time I've been beaten to the dance floor with a cute guy." 

"Yeah, he may have danced with me, but he gave you his phone number," Cassie says, easing toward a park bench. "Can we sit down? The trees are dancing." 

Collapsing on the bench, Maria smiles. "I didn't know you were such a wild woman. I'd have invited you out clubbing earlier."

"That's me, a regular Bacchus," Cassie says. "You know, that's why uncle named his restaurant that. I'm glad you invited me to that place - what was it called? Bent? It was just what I needed after this week..."

"I can't believe Tony went to Las Vegas without me," Cassie storms. "I mean, I know it's a contractor convention. I know the museum wouldn't let me have any more vacation time. But Vegas is like our special place. We got married there. And he just didn't understand why I was upset. I hate it when he leaves and I'm left home feeling left out." 

Maria made the appropriate clucking noises. She had stopped by to see if Cassie had gotten any other mail from Protector and found herself drawn into the Salvatore kitchen, listening to Cassie talk about her latest problems over a glass of wine.

"Oh Maria, I'm sorry," Cassie says, putting down her glass of Christian Brothers rose. "You didn't come over her to listen to me complain. And I'm not really mad at Tony. It's just things have been so hard lately. And, well, Tony and I just don't seem to have time together anymore and then dealing with all of this superheroing stuff and - I should just shut up now."

"I understand," Maria replies.

"But hey, enough about me. What's this I hear about you dating Matthew Chu-Wun," Cassie says, in a teasing tone. "Settling down?"

"Matthew's great and we've gone out a couple times," Maria says cryptically.

"But?" Cassie prods her.

"There's no buts," Maria says, rolling her eyes at Cassie. "We're just getting to know each other now."

"He's a great guy, Maria. Really cares about people. Fun to be around. Always running off to help." Cassie sounds ready to go on with a list of even more of Matthew's virtues.

"All this support wouldn't happen to be because he's also your teammate?"

 "He's a superhero with impeccable fashion taste. Beats up VIPER agents. Stops crime." Cassie continues without missing a beat. "He's a great guy, Maria. I think you two are really right for each other."

"Uh-huh. Have you planned the wedding yet?" Maria says, playing with the tablecloth.

"I thought it should be in spring when the cherry blossoms are blooming in the Japanese tea garden," Cassie jokes. "That way you could have an outdoor wedding."

"Well, if I'm getting married in the spring then I need to have a last fling as a bachelorette," Maria quips, standing up. "Let's go out tonight. It'll help you feel less depressed about the Vegas trip. I'll show you the wild nightlife that San Francisco can offer. Put on your party dress, you're going to see all the places that comp a Silver Avenger."

Thirty minutes later, Cassie came down in a tight black dress, slit up both sides. 

"Well, I certainly never pictured you owning something like that," a somewhat surprised Maria Chow says.

 "Tony and I went as Gomez and Morticia Adams to a Halloween party one year," Cassie says. "This was the dress I wore. Hope it will do." 

"I think I'm going to have to go home and change," Maria replies. "Avenger fatigues just don't match up."

Two hours later the two were hitting every club in a four mile radius. Cassie found out one of the benefits of being a superheroine and a friend of Silver Avenger Maria Chow, is that you never, ever wait in line to get in. You also get hit on by every available guy in the place. And you never buy your own drinks. 

"Where were you when I was in college?" Cassie says to Maria, after being propositioned twice in a matter of minutes. "I could have used your connections when I was trying to scare up a date to university functions."

"I think I was slogging through Avenger training," a somewhat tipsy Maria says. "You can't believe what D.J.'s like when he hasn't had any sleep. Believe me. Working with a cranky D.J. Johnson is worse than anything a VIPER agent could throw at you." She shudders slightly at a memory.

"Oh look, there's Sting. Sting, over here," Maria waves to him.

"Does it seem like the park has gotten bigger in the last 20 minutes?" Cassie sighs. "Maybe it's growing."

"You could teleport us back to your house," Maria suggests.

Cassie, holding her head, sighs, "I'm not sure I remember how." She laughs.

The two stumble along the path a little further when suddenly four shapes materialize out of the dark shadows of the treeline.

"Well what do we have here? Two little chickies have lost their way home," a dirty-looking, 18-year-old youth intones. He's dressed in grubby jeans and a Metallica T-shirt with a leather jacket that looks like it was pulled out of a good will box. 

His buddies, all between 16 and 19 years old, don't appear to be anymore upstanding.  

"Here chickie, chickie, chickie," the ringleader calls and soon all four are calling this as the advance on the two women. Cassie and Maria can see the guys are armed with knives and at least two handguns.

"Maria, I believe we are about to be mugged," Cassie says.

"Yes, I think you're right, Cassie," Maria replies.

Then suddenly, the two women start laughing. Fits of hysterical, uncontrollable laughter escape their lips. the punks, are startled by this and stop, unsure of what is going on.

"Maria - hic - they're going to rob us - hic - what will we ever do," Cassie gasps.

 "I don't know, Cassie, perhaps we should pray for the Golden Gate Guardians to rescue us," Maria chokes out through laughs. "If I were you, children, I would go home now, before we have to get rough with you." She snorts with laughter, and doubles over. 

Cassie looks up sharply — as sharply as she can as the world spins around her — when a loud CLUNG comes from the area where Maria was. Looking over, she sees that one of the punks is standing over the Silver Avenger with a piece of pipe.  

"Boy, that was really stupid, kid," Maria says, suddenly very serious, standing up. She grabs the pipe and twists it quickly into a knot. "Look Cassie — pipe animals!" she grins before handing the pipe back to the punk, who's now standing with his jaw wide open.

"Oh, shit, it's the Silver Avenger!" one of the kids yells. All but the one standing in front of Maria take off running.

"Ohhh Maria, It looks like your reputation as a party girl has preceded you," Cassie drunkenly laughs. "They've all run away because they can't compete. Well, not all. There's still one itty bitty little one left." 

"Maybe if I try really hard I can hit him from here," Cassie adds, spreading her fingers and wiggling her nose.

 "Are you trying to change him into Darren Stevens? You almost look like Samantha from Betwitched there," Maria teases. "Oh, oh do an Endora trick. Turn him into a bunny or something. Maybe a goat."

The thug looks a little nervous at Maria's statement but decides to hold his ground. He has the gun - after all. With that he pulls the weapon out of his waistband and gestures threateningly at the women. "Stop the play-acting. And you, Avenger, stand still or the bimbo gets it." 

"I resent that!" Cassie yells, straightening her shoulders. "I am not a bimbo, if anything I'm a bimbette! I'm only 26," she loudly whispers to Maria. "Geez, what is it with the guys I meet lately. Foxbat tells me I'm putting on weight. This guy tells me I'm getting old. Just for that, oh and the gun thing, I'm going to blast you."

Cassie lets lose with an energy blast, but the beam is wider than normal and her inebriated state makes it hard for her to control it. The golden light cuts a wide swath across the park, browning the grass, singing the newspaper covering a wino lying on a park bench and smoking just the tips of the thug's tennis shoes. The force of the beam, combined with Cassie's drunkenness, causes her to fall flat on her butt. Maria bursts out laughing.

"I never saw Samantha do that!" she chokes.

"Samantha never had three margaritas in less than an hour," Cassie sighs. 

The thug, realizing that drunk or not - the two women are more than a match for him, takes off running.

"You better run, or next time I'll fry your boxer shorts," Cassie yells. "Owww.... that was way too loud. I think I'm beginning to feel the affects of that alcohol. Maria you're a terrible corruptive influence." 

"I know, isn't it great?" Maria helps Cassie get to her feet.  

"Hey watch where you're slinging those bolts around," the wino slurs. "Ya' burnt my best newspaper. Now 'm going to have to hang around the Goodwill for a couple of days to get a new pair. Crazy women. Go home and stop bothering decent folk!"

"I think that's our cue to go, Cassie," Maria pulls her along.

"Oh my aching head. I think I had too much," Cassie stumbles after her.

 Later, back at Cassie's house the two women's condition puzzle Lobo. Cassie is lying on the couch with an ice bag on her forehead while Maria is drinking coffee and sitting in one of the chairs near the television.

"I'm really sorry, Cassie. I thought you'd be able to catch those keys when I tossed them to you."

Cassie slides back the icepack to reveal a nasty lump and bruise on her forehead. "Maria," she groans, "You're an Avenger. You toss things at mach speeds and I'm drunk. It would have taken a miracle for me to catch those keys. Let's just be grateful, I was able to fish them out of the storm drain."

"And found Tony's missing golf balls," Maria points out.

 "Yes," Cassie rubs her bruised temple. "And found Tony's golf balls. I think I shall make him cater on me hand and foot for a week. Leaving those balls so carelessly up in that drain to fall on any unsuspecting person, stumbling home after a drunken night." 

"Why don't you just heal yourself, Casie?" Maria asks.

"I don't think I remember how," she responds.

"At least make him serve dinner," Maria suggests. "Naked."

 "That's goood. But I think I'll let him wear an apron. I've always liked men in aprons," Cassie laughs. "Oh that hurts. Maria you’re welcome to take the guest bedroom. I don't think either of us is in any shape to drive and I definitely wouldn't recommend me teleporting like this. Forget transporter accidents. We'd probably have our molecules scattered over I-80."

"Maria?"

Glancing at the Silver Avenger, Cassie sees that she has fallen asleep in the chair. Cassie struggles to her feet and puts a blanket over the Avenger.

"There's no way I'm moving her," Cassie tells Lobo. "Not in my condition."

With that she stumbles upstairs to her own bed and crashes blissfully into oblivion.

PBEM Turns