The Fight
Driving home was a new experience. Controlling the steering wheel with webbed hands is a little like driving with gloves on. Certainly not impossible, just a little different.
Just a little different, Cassie sighs. I wonder how Tony will react to my little differences, she thinks. I hate to spring this on him, but I don't know what else to do. I certainly can't call him up and say, "Honey, I won't be home for a couple of days - cosmetic reasons."
PRIMUS wasn't exactly understanding, but it could have been worse. Armstrong was right about telling them a half truth. They questioned me quite a bit about everything, especially Shirin and my new "appearance." They had their doubts and their suspicions. "How strange," Cassie mutters. "I just thought Kevin Armstrong was right. Never dreamed I'd say that."
The Bronco splashes through a puddle as Cassie pulls up in front of the house. Parking, she sits in the car for a few moments.
I've got to tell him the whole truth, Cassie resolves. He may not believe me, but if I don't tell him about Shirin being in my body, he won't understand. It's so hard, thinking about him being with her. I mean, I know he couldn't know it wasn't me. But still, I think about it. It's like he cheated on me but didn't. I just can't get it out of my mind.
Why did this have to happen all at once. It was hard enough that I got pushed out of my own body. But now this. How is Tony going to deal with this, Cassie sniffles as she looks in the rear view mirror.
"I look like hell," she says, pulling her fingers through straggling wisps of white hair. "No," she amends, "I look like someone who has been tossed around to a couple of different bodies and thrown into the Bay. Fixing your hair won't make Tony any less surprised, " Cassie says to herself. "Great, now I'm talking to myself."
Switching off the car's ignition, Cassie gets out the car. It would be nice to just crawl into bed, she thinks as she runs through the rain to the front door. It takes her a second to unlock the door. Moments later she is standing in her hallway, water running off her into tiny rivulets on the tile floor.
The clicking of her shutting the front door attracts the attention of Lobo who comes running up to Cassie. The dog pauses in the hallway, quirking her head at Cassie as if trying to figure something out.
"It's OK Lobo," Cassie says, sticking out her hand. "It's just me."
"Cassie, is that you?" Tony yells from the living room. A few moments later, he steps forward, a puzzled look on his face when Cassie doesn't answer or appear in the living room. "How was the dinner with the board mem--" He stops, and his face turns ashen. "What happened to you?"
A cold lump forms in Cassie's stomach upon seeing Tony's expression. Even knowing how shocked she was by what had happened to her, she had still hoped, as irrational as it seemed, that Tony would just blithely accept what had happened, that he would gather her up in his arms and tell her everything was going to be OK.
Dropping her keys on the end table, Cassie tried to put a brave face on and stepped forward. "Tony we have to talk," Cassie says. Boy does that sound stupid. "I mean, um, something has happened. Well a bunch of things happened. It all started a couple of days ago and this is going to take a while to explain. I know your upset. I'm upset, but at least give me the chance to explain it all before you make any judgments. "
He nods a couple of times, but upon entering the living room, sits down hard on the sofa. "What happened? I thought you had a meeting at the museum," he says.
"Well I guess the first thing to explain is that the person you've been living with for the past few days wasn't me," Cassie says, sitting down on the couch. "I mean it was me, my body, but it wasn't me on the inside."
"Damn, I'm doing a terrible job at this, " she says, fidgeting. "Roughly a week ago when I went to pick you up at the airport I blacked out. The next thing I know, I wake up in the hospital in another woman's body and old woman."
Cassie swallows. "I've got to jump ahead her a bit to explain things. Yes I was in the hospital. But I later found out that the body I was in had done these terrible crimes. And that she had been following me around the museum. It was then that I found out that this woman. This Emily Thompson was inside my body. See it wasn't me with you this past week. It was her. She had used some sort of cult, black magic and taken over my body. Pushed me out. I know she sounded like me and looked like me. But you have to believe it wasn't me! I know, I heard the news reports about you guys going out on the town. I know you think that was me. But it wasn't. I'm not crazy and this really is me Cassie. But that wasn't me. She took over my body because she wanted to control the amulet and its power to cast a pretty evil spell."
Tony stands, and runs his hands through his hair. "This is insane!" he says. "How do I know this is real? The woman I was with yesterday knew all about Cassie, me, our life together! If someone wanted the amulet, they could just take it!"
"Look, I know it's hard to understand," Cassie says, trying to remain calm. Yelling won't help she thinks. But it's still hard not to raise her voice. "Try looking at it from my point of view. Here I was stuck in this awful woman's body and I can see some of her memories as well. I can sort of know a little of what happened to her. But I wasn't her. I abhorred what she had done. I'm sure she could see some of my memories too. That's how she was able to fool you. But it wasn't me."
"Think, there had to be something different," Cassie says. "Moira knew it wasn't me. She said it was how I talked. And as far as the amulet goes. That woman didn't just need the amulet. She needed my body. There's some sort of genetic tie-in between me and the amulet. You have to be descendant from a certain line to wield its power. That's why the amulet didn't ever work for you. So she needed my body."
"Look I'm not lying about this," Cassie adds, trying to reason with him. "I could have not told you. But I love you and I don't lie to you."
"I can't believe this is happening," he says, shaking his head. "If this is true, do you know what this means?" His voice climbs in volume. "This means that I spent the happiest days of my marriage with an impostor! For the first time since I bought you that stupid piece of metal, I was looking forward to the future -- not dreading the next disaster!"
At these words, Cassie goes white as a sheet. Throughout this whole misadventure, her secret fear had been that Tony had somehow liked the Shirin Cassie better than her. Now, hearing him say those fatal words, shatters her heart.
"I am sick and tired of losing contracts because of your playing at godhood, I am sick and tired of waiting for you to come home every night and wondering if you're not dead in a ditch or being tortured to death by VIPER."
Tears welled up in Cassie's eyes and a sickening feeling gripped her stomach. Her whole world was self-destructing before her and like most people she had to take part in the demolition.
"Well maybe I should have given up and left you making a happy home with the high-priestess of Satan," Cassie yells, tears streaming down her face. "But no, silly me, I nearly get killed plus endanger several peoples' lives because I loved you and wanted to get home to you!"
"And look what happens," Cassie adds. "I go through hell, finally get my own body back, only to have magic twist it this way and then when I reach the one person whose memory helped me through, the one person who I hoped would understand, he informs me that his life was better with hell's handmaiden."
"Well I'm so glad that she flattered you and told you what you wanted to hear," Cassie, furiously intones. "I'm so happy that the only good memory you have of this marriage was the few days with her and not the months we dated, our wedding day or even our honeymoon. At least now I know what you want, a conniving bitch who tells you one thing in bed, but then spends the evening trying to summon the Beast into this world. Thank you for making that clear."
"I can't deal with this anymore," Tony says, throwing the coat closet open and grabbing his jacket. "I will be at a friend's house. As far as I am concerned, this marriage is over unless you give up the paranormal business for good." The door slams shut behind him.
The echo of the door slamming shut reverberates through the house, shaking pictures and knickknacks. Cassie slumps back on the couch as a steady series of sobs wrack her body.
A few moments later, the phone rings -- and Cassie instinctively knows it's Moira.
"Hey," she says quietly after Cassie answers, before beginning again in Greek. "I know that I said I'd call tomorrow, but I thought -- oh, shoot, we had the place bugged from while we were watching Shirin," she finally admits. "I can't lie to you. I was wondering if you wanted me to come over? I can sneak in with our stealth suits, remove our bugs and bring along some electronic jammers while I'm at it. And I'll bring along the Ben and Jerry's, Cassie."
There's a lot of sniffling on Cassie's end of the phone line. Then after a couple of moments, she replies in Greek, "Please Moira come over. I don't know what I'm going to do now. Tony just left." Her voice cracks on the last sentence and it sounds like Cassie is trying really hard not to get all blubbery on the phone. "He didn't even let me explain. How could he just leave?"
"Shh, I know," she says soothingly. "I'll be there in just a few minutes, Cassie. Just hang tight."
It was still raining when Moira reached Cassie's house under the cover of darkness and high-tech electronics. Cassie had left the back door open and the smell of the ocean mixed with fog and wet grass wafts into the kitchen.
Cassie is sitting on the floor the kitchen, still wearing the jumpsuit Annike had given her. She has wrapped a down comforter around her shoulders and a half-cup of now lukewarm tea is next to her. Her eyes are red-rimmed from crying and the discarded remains of tissues are scattered across the table and floor.
Moira materializes from thin air, holding a large Nordstrom's bag. "Hiya," she says quietly, setting the bag on the kitchen table.
"I'm out of Kleenex," Cassie says, numbly, just staring at the wall. "I guess Shirin didn't go to the grocery store while she was impersonating me. She must have been too busy entertaining Tony."
From her bag, Moira pulls out a box of Puffs Plus (with Aloe Vera). "I thought you might need these, she says, sitting down on the floor beside Cassie.
Looking up at Moira Cassie adds, "She must have done a good job. He told me they were the happiest moments of his life with me. I guess I kind of ruined that taking back my body. Well what's left of it," Cassie says glancing down at her hands. "You know Moira, I thought he'd be so happy to see me alive he'd just grab me in his arms and hold on forever. That's all I wanted to do. I just wanted to hold on to him. I didn't even want to discuss what happened. But I thought - he needs to know the truth. I thought - no lies. "
Moira nods, letting Cassie continue.
"How can you build a marriage on lies," Cassie stammers. "He had been so upset when I didn't tell him about the worms. This time, I was going to tell him the truth from the start. Everything that happened. So he'd know. Maybe it was a bit selfish. I admit I wanted sympathy. I felt like I had gone through hell and he got the easy road. But I guess I just wanted him to be strong and tell me everything was OK and it'd all be fine and no one would notice my hair and my hands and my feet."
"But he didn't," Cassie shakes her head. "He just got upset, so upset. He said he was tired of it. Tired of me playing with godhood. Tired of losing contracts because of me. Tired of the whole paranormal thing. He said it was him or superheroing. That's it and then he left."
"But it won't go away," Cassie says, tears starting up again. "Even if I throw away the amulet. It won't go away. I'll still look this way. VIPER won't forget about what I've done against them. People won't stop staring and whispering. He doesn't understand. It just won't stop. And, God help me Moira, I'm afraid I don't love him enough to give it up."
"I keep going over it and over it. And each time I think. How can I give this up? How can I do what he's asking? And then I realize, I never asked that question when my family disowned us. I never once thought how will we survive? I just knew that Tony would always be there and I would be with him. I don't think that way when I think about giving up all of this Moira. Why don't I love him enough to just throw the thing away? "
Moira looks thoughtful. "It's not an issue of your loving him enough or not enough," she says, handing Cassie a tissue. "The issue is of what you feel your duty to be, and how strongly you feel the pull of doing it. You can't change his opinions, Cassie, you know that. But I don't think he really meant the things he said -- men act strangely when you take them by surprise. What both of you need now is space to figure out what's going on, and your feelings about it."
"You were right to tell the truth," she says. "You can't build a successful marriage on lies." She tilts her head to the side to regard Cassie. "I am more familiar with the other side of your predicament, in a way. I didn't know what Kevin...really did for a living when we meet. He said he was some sort of security specialist. I didn't have any reason not to believe him, but after he proposed, he told me." She shakes her head at the memory. "It was like getting kicked in the stomach -- my ears rang in shock, I started shaking, I didn't know what to do. It didn't help matters," she added dryly, "That I had been working on PRIMUS' computer security system at the time and was feeling that maybe he used me to get at my work."
"So I left -- I said a lot of things that are embarrassing to me now, but when you're in shock and pain, you have tendency to say things you don't really mean." She shrugs and adds quietly, "I can't tell you how horrible it was to see his face while I was shouting at him -- it was white and drawn and resigned, like he'd expected every second of the abuse."
Moira continues, her voice stronger, "I think what Tony said to you tonight is probably going to be very embarrassing to him in the morning. Men are delicate, in a way. When you shock them, they will act very unpredictably. It sounds to me like there's more at work here than the last couple days. Have you and he had other problems?"
"Yes, we've been having a lot of arguments lately," Cassie admits, taking some of the tissues. "It's like we don't have any time to ourselves anymore. Something is always happening. VIPER attacks the museum and I lose my secret identity. The press is hounding us and then I'm always gone trying to 'save the world' as Tony likes to say."
"And we just started arguing over the dumbest things. He's worried about money and upset I refused an advertising contract. I yelled at him saying it was like prostitution. It just seems like we can't discuss things normally anymore. Everything turns into one big argument."
Cassie sighs, "And behind it all is him worrying that one night I might never come home and me worrying that something I do might hurt him. Were not a normal couple anymore, but we don't know how to live with what we've become."
"That's the trick," Moira says. "Learning to live with the changes. It's hard enough to have a relationship when you don't have the paranormal angle to contend with -- 50 percent of couples now marrying are going to get divorced, isn't that the statistic? When you add the paranormal part in there, it only gets worse, and means even more work on both of your parts. I think that since your powers weren't part of the initial equation of your marriage, it makes it harder. What you need to do, if you'll pardon the unsolicited advice, is to sit down and redefine your goals and concerns with one another."
"Yes, but it's getting Tony to sit down," Cassie says. "As you can see he's pretty much fled the scene. I don't know. I just don't know about anything anymore. It's all changed. Well, I can't do anymore tonight."
She pulls open the bag. "Oh, I almost forgot! Ben and Jerry's, anyone?"
Cassie smiles. "Chocolate chip cookie dough?" she asks, hopefully.
"But of course," Moira says. "Is there any other kind?"
Later with a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth, Cassie asks. "What made you change your mind about Kevin? I mean, how did you know you loved him despite everything and that you wouldn't give up?"
"I knew I loved him -- that was certain. I was so happy and young while we were dating." She shakes her head. "After he told me and I blew a gasket, I flew back to England, to my parents' estate. I really didn't know what I should do then. Kevin, I found out later, had been moping around, too. Sad to say, but if it hadn't been for my mother, who knows what would have happened? She called him -- Mum just adored him, old ladies always do -- and he flew out. He knew how much I hated VIPER, but it's not like you can just quit. But while we were there, we started hammering out a plan for him eventually leaving. I knew about the Wild Geese -- my friends who helped -- long before he did. My Mother, of all people, had been involved with them before I was born, and she would often give me books and so forth to translate for them, before I even knew what I was doing, or for whom." Moira shakes her head. "But I'm rambling on now. Suffice it to say, that as reprehensible as I found VIPER, I knew that I would be miserable without Kev. We agreed that I would never talk about the work I did for PRIMUS, despite his feelings about them, because he didn't want me to feel put in the middle.
"It was hard, later on, after the Hudson Hawks set him up," she says softly. "PRIMUS took Ed and me into 'protective custody,' never even charging us, but not letting us leave. Finally the Wild Geese broke us out, but it was a terrible time. Sometimes I feel very selfish, for having Ed. But I'm not willing to stay at home in Ireland, to sit home and have babies. So I travel with the Geese, and it works out. I have my jobs -- no one is as good with cracking computers, in any case." She smiles. "It's nice to find a use for my talents, since I'm not getting the DOD contracts anymore."
"That's great about your mother, helping that is," Cassie says smiling. "Unfortunately my family never agreed with my marriage to Tony, so I don't expect much support from them on this. Actually after seeing what I look like now, they'll probably support him if he asked for a divorce. My mom was convinced about the evilness of the amulet and its powers."
"I imagine the hardest part for you to deal with was accepting that someone you loved could work for VIPER," Cassie adds, sympathetically. "You probably think I'm foolish sitting here crying about all this when you've gone through a lot worse and you had Ed. I can't imagine facing all of this with a child too."
"Oh, Christ, no," Moira says, swallowing a bite of ice cream. "I mean, no one ever stuck me in anyone else's body or turned me into a manifestation of a goddess." She looks speculatively at Cassie. "Not that I'd mind the last bit. Even with puffy eyes you look gorgeous. I love your hair."
Cassie laughs for the first time in many days. "Thanks. It is striking. Though I hesitate to think what the Observer will say when the find out about this. I wonder if it will be 'Odyssey transformed by aliens' or 'I slept with Poseidon, says Odyssey.' "
"Though I still don't quite understand why my body changed. I mean, I thought Kharis' spell was going to put me back into my own body and while I've got basically the same features, I'm pretty sure I didn't have webbed toes before all this started."
"Actually," Moira says, "I think I know the answer to that. Shirin forced the power out of your amulet during her ceremony -- that was the energy that was used to effect your transformation back to your body. Rather than the power returning to the amulet, it entered into you, and you took the form of the goddess from whom the power sprung from in the first place."
"Well that makes sense, but I feel kind of weird walking around as the image of a goddess I don't even know," Cassie says.
"I know that Selena really wants to talk to you," Moira says. "I think she knows a lot more about what's going on than she wanted to say in front of the group. Actually, that's how I know about how you ended up with the cosmic make-over."
"OK," Cassie says. "I can call her or she can call me, whichever she prefers. I really would like to talk to someone about this."
Cassie pauses for a few moments, eating some more ice cream. A few seconds later, she says out of the blue, "Tony and I wanted kids, but now, with all our other problems," she shrugs. "I just don't think it would be fair to the child. I just don't think our relationship is as stable as yours. You and Kevin provide a great family for Ed. It was funny to watch Kevin with her. It was hard for me to imagine this big hulking guy playing with his daughter."
"I'm so sorry about what PRIMUS did to you Moira. I don't think it was right of them to imprison you and Ed based on whom you married. I don't know a lot of people in the organization, but Maria Chow has always been very nice to me. And Agent Kestler too. I don't think they wouldn't do things like that if they were in charge. I know it's none of my business, but I have to admit I was kind of shocked seeing that Kevin Armstrong was your husband. I really don't know much about what happened. But Moira, why did he join VIPER? He just doesn't seem like the type. I mean he helped me and it sounds like the Wild Geese all like him and your in love with him. And he was a Silver Avenger! Was VIPER blackmailing him?"
Moira takes a deep breath, and lets it out. She twirls one of her long curls before beginning, "No, VIPER wasn't blackmailing him. It's really his story to tell, but since I'm jamming all the bugs in the house currently, I'll tell it anyway." She smiles.
"Kev was the Silver Avenger in Washington, D.C. -- everyone knows that now. He was young to be admitted into the Avenger Program -- a year out of West Point, and he was very naive. He'd been sheltered his entire life, and could never see the evil in people." She smiles again. "He still can't -- he's very idealistic, even now."
"At any rate, things were fine in PRIMUS for five years. Kev was very well decorated, very prized by the agency. But in 1990, he uncovered evidence that PRIMUS was engaging in clandestine human genetic experiments that would make the Nazis blush. And being as naive as he was, he went to Kaufman -- I mean, the Golden Avenger at the time. Rather than allay his fears, he threatened Kev -- said if any word of this got out, he'd make sure Kev's mother would suffer for it.
"He was shocked, shocked beyond belief. His trust in the agency was shattered. All of a sudden, he started putting together other pieces that had been floating around in his mind -- rumors of Kaufman's complicity in murders of low-level paranormals, rumors of other indiscretions. He started looking for a way out. Avengers can't just quit PRIMUS," she explains. "They have to be medically excused -- and even Falswell, who almost died, wasn't given that option.
"To be honest, I'm not really sure why the leap to VIPER, either," Moira continues. "It was a little extreme, really. But I think Kevin realized that he would need the protection of another agency in order to stage his death well. I think that he is also someone who has always had structure in his life -- his mother, military boarding school, West Point, and then PRIMUS -- and that the idea of being completely on his own was, well, frightening, in a way. His reason was that he needed their kind of assistance in order for him to wage an effective war on PRIMUS.
"It was not easy for me to accept it, even though I believed him completely," Moira says. "In one fell swoop, I had to accept that he was paranormal -- which isn't easy by itself -- and also someone who was wanted by the government for treason." She shakes her head. "If you knew him, you would know that he is not an evil man, not even close. For Kevin it's rarely even shades of gray. He is always helping someone or a cause. I think he was able to compartmentalize when he was with VIPER. He maintains to this day that he never killed anyone by his actions, either. But he hated PRIMUS, irrationally hated the organization." Moira pauses. "I think I know why it was so irrational with him. You know how it is when you discover that your parents have feet of clay? It's pretty devastating as a kid. Well, it never happened to Kevin, and when it finally did, he realized that everything he held dear was corrupt at some level, and in his mind, I think it was turned into this irrational hatred of PRIMUS and Kaufman especially."
"When he told me -- about who he really was -- it was before he told me about what had happened with PRIMUS -- frankly, I stormed away before he had a chance to finish. When he arrived at my parents' a week later, he finally got the chance. And really, I had no reason to disbelieve. I'd been doing PRIMUS' security, and I knew some of what he had been telling me -- knew it had been true, and knew about Kaufman's involvement, as well as PRIMUS' Intelligence Director, a man by the name of Avery Vasquez." Moira falls silent.
Cassie remains quiet for a moment, trying to absorb everything Moira has told her. It's hard. Just a week ago, Moira was just a new friend. Now, she's the wife of America's most-wanted, a participant in a super-secret organization that has saved Odyssey's life several times over and finally was sitting here on the floor trying to help Cassie through what has been the most difficult evening of her life.
"You know Moira, Kevin's pretty lucky to have found you," Cassie says. "But then I suppose he gets told that a lot. I don't think Kevin's evil. He's married to you, so he must be pretty good. Now Shirin, that's true evil. How a woman could do what she did?" Cassie shakes her head. "I wonder what happened to her when the spell ended. Did you see her body?"
"No, as a matter of fact, I didn't," Moira says. "We listened to PRIMUS for a while, though -- they are reporting that she drowned, and they will continue to monitor the Bay. I doubt they'll find her, though."
Cassie shivers slightly.
"This stuff about PRIMUS it really disturbs me," Cassie continues, putting down her now empty bowl of ice cream. "Does The Golden Avenger and Maria Chow know about this? Kaufman's gone now, but if this Vasquez is still around..." her voice trails off. "Is this experimentation is still going on? If so it needs to be stopped and those involved brought to justice. I understand it would be hard to bring change through channels at PRIMUS, but what about a special Senate subcommittee or a special prosecutor appointed by the Department of Justice. This needs to be stopped." Cassie repeats firmly. Moira sighs. "Well, once Kevin's mother died, in 1995, he began to leak small amounts of information, slowly. The problem is that he never had any physical proof -- he saw the accelerated growth tanks and the --" she stops. "What I mean to say," she says quickly, "Is that Vasquez had time to cover his tracks. And now the evidence is all but destroyed."
"As for the Golden Avenger, yes, he does know. I don't know about Maria Chow," Moira says. "But - and this is my opinion, not my husband -- there isn't a whole lot he can do about it. He isn't the type to denounce the government, but he's limited in the types of protest he can wage. Also, within PRIMUS, Vasquez is probably the most influential person. Arranging an 'accident' -- even for a multi-million dollar weapon like the Golden Avenger -- would be child's play for a man who likes his position and influence. Don't discount that Vasquez also has powerful friends in Congress, either. I really feel for DJ," Moira says quietly. "I wish that he and Kev could talk, just once." She shakes her head. "But that will never happen. Not with their history. They used to be really close. There were four of them -- Kev, Darin, Steven Hawkins and the Golden Avenger -- they used to take vacations together, just hang out." She gives Cassie a sad smile.
"Men," Cassie says exasperatedly. "I'd suggest kidnapping them all and throwing the in a room together and locking the door. But I doubt it would do any good. They'd probably just argue. It'd take some world-wide threat to even get them sort of cooperating."
"Well," she says, standing. "I probably should let you get to sleep. If you'd like, you can call my cell phone. Just speak in a language you think would confuse PRIMUS. Just not Russian," she cautions. "That wouldn't go well for you."
Cassie gets up and hugs Moira. "Thank you for coming over. I really needed a friend tonight. Take care and have some fun with Kevin and Ed. And please give everyone my thanks. A Hallmark just doesn't really cover it. Does FTD deliver to secret groups that fight?" Cassie says jokingly. Then turning serious, "And Moira, if you ever need anything, just call. "
"Null Problemo," she says with a German accent. "It really was nothing, Cassie. I can't tell you how nice it is to have friends again -- I've lost a lot of people in the past year or so -- you really find out who your friends are in a hurry when your husband is accused of treason." She hugs Cassie back. "I hope that you and Tony get back together soon," she says. "I'll be in the area for another day or two -- feel free to call me. Or e-mail," she adds, waving as she activates the stealth armor, and leaves the house.